Praise-R-Cise: Christian Aerobics With Christian Music

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Bet you didn’t realize that all exercise of whatever kind is a vicious, Satanic plot to sap the innocent vitality of fat women. But rejoice! Praise! Out goes the Devilish posturing, in comes pure Praise-R-Cise, melting fat away by just praying sincerely that it take its leave.

Christian Aerobics was not like other aerobics (notably Muslim aerobics, Jewish aerobics and the Sikh aerobic, which is, as we know, glorified rhythmic gymnastics). Christian Aerobics had a terrific tagline: “Praise-R-Cise.”  It was accompanied by Christian Music. And it worked.

Bernadette DiFrancesco, co-founder of the anti-fat gospel with her husband Joey, told customers: “I dedicated my diet to Jesus and lost 85 pounds…and with Prise–r-cise, I’m keeping it off for good.”

Released by Christian Aerobic Services, Inc. (Longwood, Florida) in 1982, the playlist went:
Testimony – Bernadette DiFrancesco, Founder
Opening Prayer – Bernadette DiFrancesco
Scripture – 1 Corinthians 6:19-20
Slogan / Pulse
A1 Warm Up Routine – The Covenant – Isaiah 49:15
A2 Warm Up Routine – I’m A Believer – Hold On
A3 Medium Routine – Damascus Walk – Don’t Play With The Devil
A4 Fast Routine – Sea Of Galilee – Sail On
A5 Fast Routine – Jehovah Jiration – Jehova Jireh
Pulse / Scripture – Hebrews 12:7 / Slogan
B1 Fast Routine – Jonah’s Run – Don’t Run From Reality
B2 Medium Routine – King Of Kings – He Came Down To My Level
Pulse / Scripture – 1 Corinthians 6:13 / Slogan
B3 Medium Routine – The Joy Of The Lord – Giggle
B4 Cool Down Routine – Heavenly Stretch – Living Sacrifice
B5 Cool Down Routine – Kingdom Living – Every Eye Shall See
Pulse / Scripture – Hebrews 12:11 / Slogan
C1 Diet Hints
C2 Set Your Goal
C3 Preparing For “D” Day
C4 Decision To Diet
D1 Did Jesus Experience Stress?
D2 Stress And Temptation
D3 Nutrition Part 1
D4 Nutrition Part 2
(via Flashbak)

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