How to meet him, understand him, and love him…
Evidently, it is a LOT of work to get men interested in sex. These skills and tricks you can use to get a man interested in you. Advice includes how to seduce a man, one night stands, where to meet men, dressing sexy, and super detailed sex advice.
Written by Maggie Rajouane, How To Make Love To A Single Man is one of the first sex manuals written by a woman, for women who wanted to know how to pick up dudes. It puts a lot of work into sounding sexy, but like a lot of books in this genre, it comes off as totally weird.
1. Sometimes he moves with the smoothness and assurance of a cat. That’s sexy.
|Wait ’til you see how well he can lick himself.|
2. He asked you to come and help him pick out a sports jacket. You tell him as long as he doesn’t wear it to bed.
|Wait ’til at least the fifth date before you ask him to try Porky Piggin’ it.|
3. He tells you he’s going to be the next Bergman. You tell him you’re going to be the next Liv Ullmann.
|Subtext: Sometimes if you wanna seduce a guy, you’ll have to endure his pretentious short film.|
4. He’ll just never understand how a nice Bryn Mawr graduate like you learned how to do an outrageous striptease.
|Careful: if you look into that man’s eyes for more than five seconds, you will get pregnant.|
5. He wants to know if he should play an album you can dance to. Yes, you say, put on something slow.
|Like an Alvin ‘n’ the Chipmunks record that’s slowed down so the chipmunks’ voices sound normal?|
|Or, leave this guy alone. He looks like he’s trying to stave off a bad case of traveller’s diarrhea.|
7. Red or white?’ he asks. You say red because it gets you in the mood.
|It’s every girl’s dream to sleep with Roy Scheider’s stunt double in The French Connection.|
8. Ask him to go away with you for the weekend.
|Guys love it when you compliment the size of their train.|
9. Men who love animals are sensitive, and make great lovers.
|Things went south when Lisa noticed Ted had fleas too.|